Sunday, January 14, 2007
Live Blogging: Season Six Hours 1-2
The wife decided she could not handle an hour of NFL football and then another 2 hours of 24. So I will be your LiveBlogging guide to the premier of 24.
Remember to follow these simple rules:
1. If you are new to Blogs4Bauer - If you hear us talk about Bacardi and Cola, Red Foreman, and Chiggy Killer and you have no idea what we are talking about. Check out our Guide to B4B Nicknames.
2. When we start adding up kills and talk about Jack Bauer getting "bonus points", make sure you read up on our Blogs4Bauer Kill Counter Guidelines.
3. Have fun, 24 is a great TV show and we have a pretty good time with it. Oh and Jack Bauer is our Elvis, Kim Bauer is hot, and Audrey has a penis nose.
4. Remember that tomorrow is Talk Like Jack Bauer Day.
5. Drink whenever Jack says "dammit".
Live Blogging Preview
-Let me be the first to say....enough with the 24 commercials FOX!!!
-Anyone see Reggie Bush get knocked into last Tuesday during the Saints game? You know you are too into 24 when you saw that hit and thought to yourself....Jack Bauer has taken worse.
-You know you are too into 24 when your wife tells you to take Route 24 today and you reply to her that "yes, 24 does come on tonight". True story.
-You know you are too into 24 when it looks like you will miss out on the final few minutes of a NFL playoff game in order to watch Jack Bauer bite someones neck....or so I've been told.
Live Blogging Hour 1
-Remote - check
-Phone off the hook - check
-Dog medicated - check
-Wife over at the in-laws - check
Jack Bauer was on The Simpsons...."Front line infantry"
900 people dead? Car bomb in New York....Muslims late for work.... I love 24
BOOOOOOMMMMM 23 more dead.
"Lock up everyone who prays to Mecca"? Is Sean Hannity president?
President Wayne Palmer.... When does he do his first Allstate commercial?
Failure? With CTU involved? No you have to be joking?
Chloe...swwwwiiinnnnggg Kim Bauer who?
"Morris we are at work....meet me in Conference Room B in 20"
Jack's coming back and he is going to love your new haircut/killing Aaarrabbs.
We don't know his state of mind? When have we ever?
Did someone order a #43 with a side of homicidal maniac?
"Jack Bauer did not breath (or pee) for 2 years..."
Jack forced to die for CTU in the first 10 minutes? What are we going to do for the next 23 hours and 50 minutes? Oh right.
JACK BAUER'S FIRST WORDS IN 2 YEARS? "Where is Penis Nose"? What did those Chinese bastards do to him?
Someone give me a Pats update! Pats up 3 with 1:10 left.... DAMMMITT
While Imm happy that movie 300 gave us more photos on Myspace, I will still never go see that stupid movie.
LA hit by terrorists.......Personally I'm glad that I'm not counting each kill on the kill counter. Maybe we should count Chloe's bitchy comments...1,2,3,4...
I smell mole......Hot muslim chick is a mole. Chloe will steal her keycard, log into her computer and check her Myspace page and see if Assad is in her top 8.
Jack flew from China, drove from the airport, had the sun rise, and are almost at CTU in less than 20 minutes. He hasn't lost a beat. But will he remember how to use a cell phone? Yes.
Jack Bauer handcuffed to a grate with no cellphone? That poor grate. What did that grate ever do to deserve this?
Let me just say that 24 is awesome. Watching 24 on HDTV is really awesome.
Pats - 24 Chargers - 21
Audrey was on that lame show The Nine (which I think only lasted a few weeks). Michelle Dessler was on The Knights of Prosperity last week (equally lame).
Drudge is livebloging?
Someone's attacking Behrooz? Dude, I think we should smoke some weed and blow up a White Castle...I mean eat...
New Evil Guy's nickname: Mr. Abu Al-Clean
Jack is so screwed and Prison Break's return means the absolute end to all of my Monday nights.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I think Jack likes this torture.
Jack Bauer is dead? Tyler D...you killed him. Chloe... you too. Morris...grow some hair...
Jack Bauer kills using his mouth (4 points)
He didn't say anything cool or have on aviators. However, he probably has not brushed his teeth in 2 years, so his breath had to be torture.
Jack Bauer vampire. Lestat is a sissy.
Kill Counter Hour 1 Total = 4 Points
Live Blogging Hour 2
Previously on 24, a bunch of B-rate actors from movies you have never seen are on your favorite show.
Jack is stuck in the LA sewers... He grabs one of Rosie Odonnell's diaprams and floats to CTU.
Jack Bauer could have started that car with his finger.
President Palmer to Bauer: Sorry I tried to have you killed....its this damn Palmer blood that is running through my veins.
Product Placement: Nextel.
The racist neighbor was right, his muslim target is a terrorist. I love Fox....sometimes
Someone called in the US Marines....the next best thing after Jack Bauer.
7:10 - first Token mention. Did someone order a Bacardi and Cola?
Why does Jack introduce himself? There is a mole inside the terrorist group? I see they have the same writers from the past 5 seasons.
If Jack Bauer was dropped from a crane, he would come out in China. In fact, that is how the Chinese really returned Jack Bauer to America. They dropped him from a crane in Bejing and he popped up in LA.
"There are no terrorists here"..... 24 Rules says "There are terrrorists here"
Sandra, stop being like Sherry Palmer and help us out. Civil protections, Bush is evil, war for oil..... There are always people looking out for the rights of others/terrorists.
Is that Barack Obama? Talk about overexposure.
"Respond he will guaranteed" - what is he? Yoda?
This season of 24 will setback images of muslims something like 2 years. We have come so far...
If I never see that stupid SHARP golf commercial again... I thought I'd seen it the last of it during the World Series when they had it in every commercial rotation.
In case you are just joining us, Jack Bauer is helping out terrorists. Now stop asking what the hell is going on.
Bauer: "WHERE IS HE!!!" .... everyone drink never mind, he didn't say "We are running out of time".
In the kneecap.....oooooohhhhh Camel Nuts that hurts.
American flag in the background as we see some torture scenes....24 brought to you by The New York Times.
"I don't know how to do this anymore" - Jack Bauer. Oh crap, America is so screwed. Jack Bauer doesn't torture, another Hannibal movie is coming out, the Patriots are going to the AFC Championship. What do I have to live for? Oh right; Prison Break returns soon and we can make fun of retards on American Idol.
Obama calls Palmer. The FBI is back and they want to ask questions about my People magazine photoshoot.
Roger Clinton meet Sandra Palmer.
BANG... Some noname from Harold and Kumar just shot the catcher from Major League 2. Any minute now, the cast of Weekend at Bernies will show up and we will all have a good laugh.
6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon. Rube Baker was the catcher for the Cleveland Indians in Major League 2....President Palmer played outfield. Dennis Haysbert was in What's Cooking? (2000) with Maury Chaykin Maury Chaykin was in Where the Truth Lies (2005) with Kevin Bacon
Product Placement: Toyota
Those are some clean subways. Are you watching New York?
I'd hate to be a muslim on the subway on Tuesday....someone is going to get their bag checked.
Only Jack Bauer gets a free subway ride by claiming a terrorist is on board.
Jack Bauer killed an arab with explosives/feet (1 point)
"we have no way to fight back"....J-A-C-K- do I need to continue spelling?
Seriously...with the constant attacks on our country, why do we elect Palmers?
Fox has some really stupid commercials for movies and TV shows that we will just have to put up with. My suggestion is liberal use of the MUTE button.
Final Kill Counter Total for Hours 1-2: 5 points
Tomorrow: The Kill Counter will get some nice pointage as Jack Bauer claims that he "can't do this anymore"...until someone pisses him off. Then he tends to go overboard.
If you live in the NY area....it is that time of year when the Fox5 News team like to tease a 24-related story and hold on until after the last story to broadcast it. I hate that.
Remember. Tomorrow is Talk Like Jack Bauer Day
Finally, welcome back to Blogs4Bauer. Last season we took watching 24 to a new level. This season we have added some new bloggers and a new layout. Stay tuned for TiVO blogging Point/Counterpoints, Caption Contests, Kim Bauer, and did I mention Kim Bauer.
Thank you, the 24 fan, for helping fuel our obsession.